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How to Become a Ballerina (When You Grow Up)

Growing up homeschooled in the eighties and nineties gave my little sister and me the time, focus, dedication, drive, and commitment that it took to fulfill (almost) every little girl’s dream: becoming ballerinas.

Of course there are little girls who scoff at tutus and tiaras and dream instead of cowgirl boots and mud pies (like a certain someone I gave birth to) but “When I grow up I want to be a ballerina” is a common wistful sigh on the lips of plenty of feminine youngsters.

So, little one, how do you become a ballerina?

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3 Things Men Just Don’t Get About Romancing Their Wives

1. Getting Hot & Heavy in Bed

Late at night, when the kids are finally asleep, the lights are dimmed, the phone is off, the dishwasher is humming, the doors are locked, and I’m in bed with my husband, he whispers an insecure, anxious thought:

“You only love me for my body.” He gulps. Are those tears he’s blinking back?

Oh, stop wiggling and get over here!” I demand. I move closer.

“No!  I’m more than just a hot body, you know!” He hugs a pillow to his chest and effectively blocks my embrace.

“No, you’re not.  Quit fighting and give in!”

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What NOT To Put On Your (Homeschool) High School Transcript

When preparing your homeschooled high schooler’s transcripts for college admission, there are a few things you simply must include: English, Math, and History spring to mind.

But there are several more that you should simply and safely leave off, no matter how proud your little genius sprout is of them.

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6 REAL Money Saving Tips for Cheapo Homeschoolers

Living on a budget is an art, one that I’ve got down to a science.

Always here to help, I thought I’d share of my best kept secrets with you, because let’s face it: those “money saving tips” you see on Oprah or in the glossy women’s magazines? They aren’t helpful to us normal people.

And by normal, I mean not normal, of course. We’re homeschoolers; we’ve never been accused of normalcy, right?

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The Ten Commandments of Ultra-Righteous Prayers

For prayers to be inspiring, it’s important to use guidelines, especially for any recent converts. Oh sure, it may SEEM like prayer is a simple thing between you and God, but honestly, it’s quite complicated to perform it correctly.

And I do mean perform.

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The Super Mom’s Guide to Getting Sick

Women have something in them that fools them into thinking they are Super Woman. Well, for me it’s Wonder Woman (I even had the Underoos to prove it. And the aluminum foil bracelets. And the crown). So, when I get sick, I live in total denial for several days.

“I’m fine,” I croak, crankily.

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A Marriage Story

Once upon a time there lived a boy and a girl.

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Confessions of an Accidental Unschooler

In the efforts of full disclosure, I wrote this many moons ago. Since then, my kids have unschooled, homeschooled, dual schooled (charter high homeschool program mixed with college), Waldorf schooled, and … um, I think that’s it.

Anyhoo.

Back in 2011 or so, this was my headspace. Perhaps you relate.

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Roadschooling: A Survival Guide for Homeschool Road Trips

Roadschooling. Is it a thing? Schooling while on the road? Do you need a sketchy-looking, decked out schoolbus? Will any old Mommobile do? Can you really use your road trip times and not skip school?

It is totally a thing.

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Suggesting A New Member of the Avengers: Mouse Woman

This is a classic from the email newsletter archives. You should subscribe if this is your jam.

Once upon a time, I was sleeping on my little sissy’s couch. It was either that or snuggle with her in bed and since her son was still nursing, I was afraid of awkward encounters of the midnight snacking variety. Anyway, I awoke to the sound:

Click…click…rattle…rattle.

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