One of my favorite characters and stories from the Bible is Elijah.

He’s a sassy boy, who takes naps and needs constant reminders from God to just eat something already and knock it off with the theatricals.

He also likes to hide from God, like a toddler playing hide and go seek by closing their eyes while being in plain sight, and God calmly goes to find him (and brings snacks for low blood sugar because He’s a good dad).

And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks, but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. and after the fire the sound of a low whisper.

And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here?”

1 Kings 19:11-13

… Which, when you think about it, is a funny question because God is a sassy boy too.

It’s very hard to hear the whisper in the busy day to day life; sometimes the traffic is too loud or the music is playing or my own grumbles get in the way. Sometimes I don’t like the question the whisper asks.

Like, “What are you even doing here, kid?” I get disgruntled and defensive. Ummm, hiding, what do you think? Go away.

My conversations with God tend to be real and raw; either that or sleepy and wandering-off-like-a-sheep.

I don’t pray in front of people anymore. I used to, but it was always a performance thing, trying to say eloquent phrases that would bring tears of joy to any listeners, when if fact I mostly want to say things like,

“Hey, thanks for the groceries today. I hope you’re having a nice day up there,”

or

“I really appreciate the fact you made me chubby AND frizzy-haired. That was super cool of You.”

*pauses for my sting to sink in*

“That was sarcasm, God.”

*pauses*

“Sorry.”

Sometimes my prayers run to the effect of “Would a leeetle smiting kill you?” when someone I intensely dislike seems to be having a real good life.

I wonder if God sees me dialing up the old rotary and sighs and turns to an angel and says, “Could you take this one? I can’t EVEN with her today.”

Luckily though, He doesn’t.