The Homeschool Parent’s Back to School Shopping List

Because public school parents are given lists with clearly printed items concerning what to buy their whippersnappers at the beginning of the school year. We homeschoolers need a list too!

So here you go. A helpful list from me to you, and not a single #2 pencil on it. You’re welcome.

The 5 Things You Actually Need to Homeschool

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1. Artisan Crafted Chocolate

Handmade chocolate from Theo Chocolate.  With flavors like Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, Big Daddy Marshmallow, Tumeric Spice, and Black Rice Quinoa Crunch (for the health conscious), these bars are nothing to feel guilty about.

On the contrary, you can feel pretty sweet about yourself and your cravings when you realize they’re fair trade and full transparency. Read about it here.

And they’re the perfect size to nibble on when you’re hiding from your kids during math. They slip perfectly between the laundry detergent and the fabric softener, which is where I go when I need a minute. Or twenty.

2. WINC Wine Club

Winc is a wine of the month club basically, only classier, because … wine. Don’t start a school year without it.

We recommend the Pinot Noir for those dark days of Pre-algebra, or a lovely Cab Sav for when your ten year old comes home from the co-op with head lice.

Don’t like red? Sip on a effervescent Pinot Grigio when you’re going over the times tables for the eleventy-seventh time that month, or a pretty White Zin for when you realize Jr. didn’t remember a single fact from the whole unit you taught on the Constitution. Yep, that’s three months of your life you won’t get back.

3. LL Bean PJs

If you’re going to teach Calculus in your pjs (and you know you are), these soft and cozy ones from LL Bean will fit the bill nicely.

Heck, we’d wear these all over town in a pinch.  Public school mamas wear them in the drop-off line, can’t we wear them to get the oil changed in the van? We think yes.

4. Coffee & Espresso Machine

A coffee and espresso machine from Nespresso is the best way to start your early day. While your children arise and call you blessed, you serve them hand-ground oats and flax, and the kindergartner sings songs in Latin, you can sip on a strong brew.

Also good for when everyone oversleeps on testing day, the kids are cranky, no one can find a matching pair of shoes, and the toilet is clogged. It’s all good when there’s coffee.

5. Netflix

Because every homeschooling parent needs a way to tune out and refresh. Sign up for Netflix and forget a bad day when you binge watch shows for yourself, or pull up some semi-educational documentaries and let this streaming service do the homeschooling for you while you take a much needed shower.

Seriously. Get a shower.

There you go; the last back to (home)school shopping list you’ll ever need.

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