I’ve been thinking.

When my kids are grown and move out (I’m down to only one ankle-biter at the moment and since he’s much taller than I am, he’s more of a forehead biter) I’m going to visit them.

A lot.

Probably for 2-3 weeks at a time.

The hubs and I already decided we are all about RV living, and we are totally here for some eccentric senior citizen behavior.

Finding the perfect Christmas (or birthday, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s, anniversary… you get the drift) gift for the woman in your life can be a daunting task.

But let me tell you this: You’ll never go wrong with some sweetly pampering gifts for her.

Are you stumped on how to style long, wavy hair?

Well then. Today is a new day for you.

You know you need it: a slang dictionary for all of those curly hair words and terms you hear thrown around.

What the heck is plopping? What kind of weird contraption is a diffuser? What in the name of all that is holy guacamole do pineapples have to do with anything?

Don’t fret, my lovelies. I’ve got you. Like the curl version of the urban dictionary, here is a curly hair glossary for all those crazy terms and words.

Cue theme music.

You need to know how to style men’s curly hair. And you want it quick, simple, and cheap.

Here’s how.

It’s weird but it’s true: Most people love to be scared.

As a little girl I crawled under my blankets at night to read Nancy Drew by the light of a dimming flashlight.

As a teen I discovered the gothic thrills that books like Jane Eyre, Jamaica Inn, and Mary Stewart titles could give me.

And now, as a grown up bookworm, I eat up thrillers like they’re going out of style (thankfully, they’re not).

In fact, if I do pick up the occasional chic lit, family drama, or self-help book, I end up bored and whispering,

Mama needs a good murder…

My family is leery of me, but what else is new?

If you’re here, you’re likely befuddled, bemused, and bedraggled over curly hair types.

What’s yours? 4a? 2c? How do you know? Why is this so hard? Should I give up and flat iron?

Where would Inigo Montoya and The Six Fingered Man fit on a curly hair chart? How do I find The Six Fingered Man? Once I find him, how do I find you again?

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya,

Let me ‘splain! No. There is too much. Let me sum up.

Inigo

Incidentally, I’d say Inigo’s hair type is a 2C – 3A.

I love throwing stuff away.

My garage is calling me. It’s saying,

Come get these free craigslist chairs you acquired last year and put them out on the curb.

If I obey the call, I can get to the important stuff in there – like my box of sewing supplies, the kid’s off-season clothing, and the contraband supply of Hagan Daaz in my freezer.